I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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