we have officially lost it.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
