I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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