I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
