im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
