Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
