i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
