Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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