I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
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I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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