Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
