I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
