Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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