quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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