I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize