My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
