They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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Edward fifth and chaser hands
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
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The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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