Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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