All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
