I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize