I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
