somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
