your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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