It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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