I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
