Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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