You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
