Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
