He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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