Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
