I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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