she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
