just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize