Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
