my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
