That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
