There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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