I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
