He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
