Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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