I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
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Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
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I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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