I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize