The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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