So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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