we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i think im in europe. pls send help
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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