I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
this will be a night to untag.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
