he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
