explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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