I think im going to throw up on grandma
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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