I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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