you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
