He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Bring me that man meat
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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