He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This is classic penis vs brain.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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