The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
