Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
