Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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