This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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