you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
