Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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