I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Green mimosas i think yes
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
