it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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