So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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