I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
