so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
