Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
