Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
