id be glad to
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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