i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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