For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
